


For all the stories left to be written

by ThatWALKERKid



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Domestic Fox Mulder/Dana Scully, F/M, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hope, Memories, Pregnant Dana Scully, Second Chances, William | Jackson van de Kamp is Fox Mulder's Child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:35:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23507737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatWALKERKid/pseuds/ThatWALKERKid
Summary: Mulder stumbles upon a diary of sorts, that Scully had kept while he was on the run after their son was born. A glimpse of things he was unable to experience but Scully wanted to make sure he knew.. it was a lifeline.
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Comments: 3
Kudos: 27





	For all the stories left to be written

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BeautifulNight2drinkTequila](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeautifulNight2drinkTequila/gifts).



> This fic is for my Favourite person on the planet on her birthday. I hope that this fic can be a small part in your celebration. No gift could ever be as great as the one of love, support and friendship you give to me everyday. Thank you. 
> 
> All the extra special birthday vibes. 
> 
> Mel xx

* * *

Dust particles danced on the air. It swirled and glittered as the sun peeked through the window and the now opening door. The floor creaked its dissatisfaction at the unusual weight bearing across it; having been desolate and unburdened by human connection and infraction in many years. It was a small space, one that would be missed by the untrained eye; hidden away behind the walls of the unremarkable house.

“ _I’m not sure which box is which up there, you might have to dig around.”_

Mulder smiled as Scully’s voice filtered up from below. He looked around the room at the abundance of boxes stacked here and there. He wasn't sure when it had accumulated so many but as he spied Scully’s name on a collection of them he didn’t care how or when they'd gotten there just that they had.

Most of the boxes he'd placed up here were full of old VCR tapes, some files and things from his childhood that he'd grabbed from his parents house before selling it many years ago but now they were accompanied by some boxes filled with Scully’s things; her name scrawled neatly in black marker on their sides. He noted how neatly they were closed, no indication of what they housed; whereas his had items jutting out at all angles and some didn’t even have flaps to close. It was the perfect picture of them as people, of the yin and yang of their relationship; Scully was neat and logical and held order close to her heart and he, well he was like a tornado, wild winds, destruction and left mess in his wake.

He had definitely tried to reign his impulses and messiness in throughout the years to try and be fairer to Scully but he had come to realise that while it did bother her times that he kept leaving his socks on the floor and his coffee cups dirty in the sink, she’d not actually wanted him to change and that she loved him anyway.

He stepped further into the room and peered into his open boxes, eyeing all the things he'd gathered there. A photo frame caught his attention and he freed it from its prison, wiping the dust from its glass, bright smile biting at his lips and illuminating his eyes as the memory flickered across his mind; Scully sat at a table, birthday cake in front of her, smiling at him, cake on his face from the piece she held out to him. They hadn't celebrated much together, birthdays, christmases or new years but the ones they had, he remembered them fondly; some of the best moments of his life. Placing the photo back into the box, he kept looking for the boxes Scully had sent him up here for. He moved a few around and finally spied the collection of ones he was there for; baby things.

His heart clenched a little at the sight of them, a sombreness rising into his chest but pushed it back down as he opened the box on top. He hadn’t known when Scully had put them up here but got the feeling she had done it that way to save him the torment of all those years ago with their son being born without him. His fingers played with the corner of a plush blue blanket, a cartoon giraffe with wide eyes and contagious smile printed on it. He pulled it from the box and clutched it to his face, burying his nose in it, his eyes closing as that familiar baby smell washed over him.

He stood there for a few moments, wanting the joy he felt in his heart to imprint there forever but he knew that the pain of that time would always simmer deep inside of him. He hurt more so for the fact that he wasn't there for Scully or their son at the most important times. Smiling sadly as he pulled the blanket away from him face, his eyes caught on something else in the box that stuck out as something he hadn't expected to find in a box full of baby things. The other items were your typical baby clothes, onesies, shoes, rattles and other toys, but the black leather bound book to one side didn’t look like it belonged there.

His fingers skimmed its cover delicately. Maybe it had ended up in the box by mistake, a miss pack when Scully had finally managed to box up their son’s things? It was obviously something that Scully had wanted to keep and Mulder felt oddly like an invader for wondering what its contents were but there was also a pull, a unidentified force willing him to pick it up; and so he did. The weight of it in his hands felt clunky and disproportionate to the actual size of the book itself and he wondered if it was his mind placing importance upon it and what he might find inside. He swallowed thickly, his throat suddenly drier than any desert he'd almost died in. His fingers danced over every surface of the book before slowly opening its cover.

_“ Fox, may you know the joy as I have, the pain as you do and believe as we must. I love you. Now and always. Dana.”_

Scully’s perfect penmanship greeted him; delicate words written seemingly in both protest and longing. A shuddering breath sucked between his teeth as he prepared to turn to the next page. As he did so, his back gently found the wall behind him, his body having unknowingly directed him to a stable surface, to hold him steady on this journey he'd begun. More of Scully’s hand writing greeted him and as the first few lines filtered into his mind he realised what this book was; it was a life line.

“ _The nights seem to eclipse the days in the war against missing you. There is something to be said for those who can handle loss in the dark. While I know there has been much gained in the process, my heart is heavy with the loss your presence provides. It’s only been three weeks without you and I can only justify my continued existence for finding a way to bring you home and for our son; for us to be a family. William needs his father and I need my other half, my partner back._

_There has already been so many changes in William over the past weeks. Even at such a young age he reminds me of you Mulder, a saving grace I cherish. His fine hair is softer than silk, his skin smells of that uniquely baby smell and at times of you. I have come to wrap him in one of your shirts at night but realise the more I do, the less it smells like you and the feeling that you’re with us fades along with it. I want you to know our son is perfect Mulder. I will be forever grateful for your belief, for your sacrifice and for the gift that he is, one you have given me. I love you Mulder, more than the air in my lungs; and can only hope that you believe as much as I do that we will be together again, all three of us very soon. Dana.”_

Mulder’s chest heaved with a sob and felt tears well in his eyes. He was a mixture of sad and grateful that even though he wasn’t there she felt like he was, at least for a time; that he’d given her something to make all her sacrifices worth while. His mind also screamed at him to not look any further in the book, that the pain that awaited in those pages would only serve to destroy him again, but his soul knew that Scully wouldn’t have written it for him if it didn’t serve a more enriching purpose. He flipped further into the book, about half way and continued reading.

“ _As weeks rolled into months, I had been wary of writing as I don’t want these letters to make you feel worse than I know you already do; you hold the whole world on your shoulders, you don’t allow yourself any relent. While it has been tough, I want you to be able to look back at this as a window to our family’s soul._

_William loves the water and has taken to making sure I wear as much of the water as he does. His smile and giggles as he splashes around are one of the most magical things in this world. While bath times can get adventurous, I have also worked out that if I lay him on my chest while I’m in the bathtub, so his head is over my heart, he calms instantly. I’d like to think that he can hear the echo of yours beating in mine. You are known to him Mulder. Not a day goes by that I don’t tell our son of his father, of how much you love him._

_At bed time, we snuggle and I tell him a story of the man who wanted to believe. This man was full of kindness, compassion and wonder for the world. He would go on adventures in search of mythical creatures that roam all the lands. But not everyone would be happy with him searching for things and they'd try and stop him. The man would do everything he could to show the world that while he wasn’t always right, he believed… in more than his eyes could see, in more than his hands could touch. He wanted people to know that if you believed in something, if you searched for the truth in your heart, you’d find everything you had every hoped to. And eventually everyone began to believe, if not in the creatures, than in the power of themselves, in love, in being happy and the man who believed did live happily ever after with his love and his son, and they believed in each other and their family.You will get to tell him stories too Mulder, ones of us, of you, of wild adventures and unbelievable magic. He holds onto my thumb tight as I tell him of his father, the greatest man I’d ever know and love._

_In all honesty Mulder, I didn’t think I’d make it as a mom. I thought I would fail and all of this will have been for nothing, but every morning just before the sun comes up, I look at William in his crib and I see you… you’re strength, your character and your belief. You’re here all around us Mulder, our son is filled with love, from both of us. My love for you has only strengthened and while your absence, and not knowing how you are, not getting to hold you, to breathe you into my soul is shattering, I know you already reside there, forever. Dana.”_

A smile broke out on Mulder’s face, as tears of joy dotted his cheeks. He closed the book and held it to his nose, breathing it in, its pages filling his senses. He wanted to read more, to experience all the pages held for him but felt a pull in the pit of his stomach to continue the journey with Scully. As if on cue, her voice filtered up from below once more.

“ _Mulder? Are you okay? Did you find the box?”_

He knew if he didnt answer or reappear soon she’d come looking for him and he wasn’t having that in her current state. Closing the lid of the box again, he made his way with it out of the small space it had called home and back into the heart of the unremarkable house. As he descended the stairs, his eyes locked with Scully’s from the kitchen sink. She smiled at him and went back to peeling the carrot in her hand.

“ _I thought you got lost up there..”_

Mulder stepped up behind her and wrapped an arm around her, hand resting on the growing expanse of her stomach and their daughter.

“ _I kinda did but was brought back to life by a tale in a book I found.”_

He turned Scully in his arms and rested the black book on his chest. He watched as worry and a hint of sadness flickered across Scully’s face.

“ _Mulder I….”_

He kissed her softly and shook his head to reassure her she had done nothing wrong.

“ _You did this for me Scully?”_

It was a question and a realisation all in one. She cupped his face, thumbs stroking his cheeks delicately.

“ _I wanted you to know him Mulder… like he knew you._ ”

Mulder smiled at her, the light reaching his eyes.

“ _Oh I do Scully. You made sure I would.”_

Scully grabbed the book from him and ran her fingers over it, memories flooding her mind.

“ _I only read a few pages…”_

He bit his lip, trying to figure out how to ask her what he wanted to.

“ _But… I was wondering if you’d read the rest with me, or tell me the stories in these pages…”_

His eyes fell a little and Scully use a finger under his chin to bring his gaze back to her own. His hand migrated from her hip to her bump.

“ _I’m sorry I wasn't there. You are a great mom Scully; William and this little girl are testament to that. Against all odds Scully we have a second chance, I have a second chance to…”_

His voice fell short of finishing his sentence as a kick to his hand from a tiny foot rendered him unable to speak. Scully watched the wonder and joy and belief wash over his features. He knelt down before Scully, her hand migrating into his hair as he spoke to their unborn child.

_“There are so many stories to tell you and things to teach you but right now all you need to know is that mommy and I love you more than you will ever know, but I’ll spend every day trying to show you.”_

Mulder looked up at Scully, his eyes slick with tears but a smile on his face.

“ _Thank you for this Scully, it means everything.”_

He grabbed the book from her and held it and her close.

“ _But I can’t wait for all the stories to come.”_

In that moment Mulder was hopeful, and happy and knew that this time, with Scully’s help, he could be the man in the story she’d told their son years ago.

He could be the man who believed and got his happily ever after.


End file.
